Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Left behind

I did something today I haven't done in a long time, so I thought today would be a good day to return to this blog.

We're doing a diaper drive at work, so I went into Ramona's room to get some packages to donate.  We received a lot as gifts, but they've been sitting in her room for almost a year now and I figured it's nice to donate some in her name. It's also better than going to the store and buying some. I hate the baby section.

While I was in there I straightened her things and threw some things away. We still have her stroller box and lots of gift bags I need to recycle.

It is bittersweet to be in her room. The yearning I feel for her is unbearable, but remembering how wonderful it felt to arrange her room and fold and hang her little clothes and the anticipation of meeting her is sweet. I'm glad I have those memories.  Cleaning and straightening today made me feel slightly normal for a few minutes. After that feeling fades I'm alone in the house again, missing her.

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